This FAQ is valid for MySpace, Facebook, StudiVZ, deviantART, Last.fm any other so-called “social networks”, as well as for my personal homepage.

1. Interpersonal communication (see also: cheap excuses for starting moralising discussions)
Yes, it is the cornerstone of human progress. Yes, I do enjoy interpersonal communication (with people I like), BUT:
Just because “interpersonal communication” is a human ability this does not mean I have to talk with any stinking blockhead whose favourite pastime is pestering others –in this case me- with stupid questions about “humanism”, just because my MySpace profile does not feature soft and gentle child poems about pink and fluffy cotton candy in Comic Sans.
So how do it put it without hurting your already hurt feelings even more? Ah, I’ve got it: I’d rather have my balls ripped to shreds by a pack of wild, ravenous, rabid dogs, while a fat, naked man is sitting on my chest battering rusty nails into my throat and eyeballs with his dirty shoes, than talking to people like you.
Got it? Next.

2. I’m not sure whether I like the content of your page (see also: cheap excuses for starting moralising discussions)
So? Last time I checked it was not really important whether someone liked the content of another one’s web site. If you do not like my page, do not browse it. Next.

3. Will you work for me?
If your whole plan consists of asking that only question, without even spotting the certain little flaw in your plan, I am afraid the answer will have to be: “No, I will most likely not”. Next.

4. cheap excuses for starting moralising discussions
My proposal is I simply post a static blog in which I post the links to every single one of you moralizing dumbasses, so you can start pointless discussions among yourselves. Deal? Next.

5. Don't you think your overall world view is a bit harsh and misanthropic?
Yes, it is. Deal with it. Next.

6. According to your preferred imagery it's likely to draw the conclusion that you might probably be a Communist or even Nazi/Fascist. Is that true?
No. I mean, what the hell? Use your eyes AND your mind, morons. Next.

7. You really like using swear words, don't you?
Fuck, yes! Next.

8. I don't like your attitude and all the other hundred little things and details I found out about you in hours over hours of "e-stalking" you, so if I send you a hate letter/email in which I tell you how oh-so-unpleasant I am with the fact that you actually live, will you read it [kisses and hugs optional]?
Hell yes! I always enjoy a good laugh, all the more because hate letters tell me more than thousand words that I am absolutely doing the right thing! I might even indulge in answering your letter, given that it is not just mental smut converted to typed smut, actually bears some sense and does not contain too many grammatical and orthographical errors. Otherwise you should probably better write a letter to santa clause, because it's more likely to receive an answer from him. Next.

9. Do you hate Blacks/Jews/Homosexual people?
No, I fucking do not. Why the hell should I? And even more important is the question what makes you think I did? Because my hair is short and I wear boots? Those who still don't get it, see point 6. Those who don't even get it afterwards, may I suggest you a rope and an instable chair? Next.

10. "Why dont [sic] you anser [sic] my question???!!! Your [sic] a [sic] [...] asshole!!!!"
Assuming that you tried to ask me what I think to tried to ask me, you have just answered the question yourself. Next.

11. I have sent you a friends request, but you didn't accept it. What the hell is wrong with you?
Is your profile set to private? If so, don't expect me to accept your request. I simply prefer to see which people want me to add them. Sure, I could accept, then view their profile and delete them if I didn't like them... But I have better things to do. For example, nose-picking would be a pastime more enjoyable than that.
However, if your profile is not set to private and you are no cheap internet whore looking for loot or a stupid spammer there is still the possibility that I would prefer a scattergun knee-shot to your friendship. Next.

12. Would you care for some advertisement?
Hell, no! If you send me any form of advertisement, chain letters, pseudo-benefit messages or other comparable crap, I will delete you from my friends list or block/ignore you.


In deep love (and "hugs" and "kisses" and herpes and veneral diseases and all the other crap you people love so much),

~Thamus